The Clone-A-Willy is a peculiar invention. It is a kit designed for you to make a replica of your penis or someone else’s penis. Not only is it kind of hilarious, but it can be converted into one of the hottest or creepiest toys you own- depending on how you feel about the following statements:
- You can be double penetrated by your partner
- You can penetrate your partner with their own penis
- Your partner can experience giving head to themselves
- You can experience what your partner experiences while wearing their penis
Can you tell why it intrigued us?
The other thing you should know about the Clone-A-Willy is that it seems to have a fairly low success rate. A quick search led me to a few articles about failed attempts. The most problematic: the penis can’t stay hard enough for long enough in the casting mould.
So… we attempted it…and failed for similar reasons.
1. Make Sure To Read The Instructions
These instructions are complicated the first time you read them. There are water temperatures and length of times. We were the most surprised by the length of time needed for everything to set properly but that is just because we are unfamiliar with silicone drying time. We were also surprised by how many extra materials you need to make the kit. The kit contains a tube, casting mould, liquid silicone x 2, a thermometer, a stir stick for the silicone and a vibrator. On top of that, you require two mixing cups and a utensil to mix the casting mould, scissors, tape, cardboard and a AA battery.
2. Cutting & Taping
The first step is to cut the tube to the correct size. This results in some pointy plastic cut marks, which you are instructed to cover by tape. We didn’t really think this was sufficient, so we covered it in a layer of kleenex to keep it classy.
3. Mixing the Casting Mould & Staying Hard
This is where we failed the Clone-A-Willy kit. The obvious problem with the kit is that you’re doing arts & crafts and expecting someone to stay hard throughout the process. Not only have you measured their penis and CUT THE TUBE SMALLER (not very flattering moment in someone’s life), but you need to time their peak firmness with the proper temperature of water. You don’t want to burn them but you also need to properly mix in the casting mould powder.
So Andy is standing there, watching porn, feeling very much like he is on a time limit, while I am heating up water and letting it cool to the proper temperature. He knows he has only two minutes to place his penis inside the mould or the kit has been wasted. Pressure? Definitely.
The temperature of the water cools down and I tell him that the time is NOW. I add the provided powder that quickly turns into a chunky beige mess. I am frantically stirring to get the chunks out within one minute and then pour this vomit-looking mess into the cut-out tube. Basically, Andy is watching me do one of the unsexiest acts, while on a very strict timeline to masturbate. Did I mention that we are standing in the kitchen?
With the unsexiness and the timed pressure, Andy goes soft. He starts stressing out more, which is causing the reverse-desired reaction in his penis. I’m standing there, with a messy-as-hell tube of beige chunks while he’s trying to get hard enough for our craft project.
Well, once two minutes is over, it is game over. The casting mould hardened and we couldn’t continue further.
The GOOD news is that there are re-fills available. The company claims that they are sold in case you want to make more than one or in case you spilled the powder everywhere. We’re just going to assume that most people’s first attempts are so horribly executed that they need to try again.
So, we have all the pieces of our kit and eventually, maybe we will order another casting mould powder bag. There were so many great ideas we had for a replica penis but those will all have to wait.
Conclusion: Read the instructions, believe the instructions and buy a second bag of casting mould powder. If you’re successful on the first trial, we want to know! We absolutely love the idea of the Clone-A-Willy but clearly we failed pretty terribly at it.
Thank you to Lovehoney for providing us with a Clone-A-Willy Glow in the Dark Vibrating Moulding Kit in exchange for an honest and unbiased review.