Do you remember back in the day when you turned the legal age in your respective country and you thought you were just so grown up, thought you were at your peak and thought that you were just such hot shit. Oh… was that just me? Cuz when I turned 18 (yes, the legal age in my province is a blessing for partying), I thought I was so freaking in control of my life and just totally on the right path for all these great, wonderful things to happen. Ageing? Wasn’t even in my vocabulary back then.
Ten years later, I can tell you that the word ‘age’ is very much in my vocabulary. I’d say it’s a frequent word in my vocabulary – both in a positive and negative context. Are my hangovers worse? Age. Is my knee a bit wonky? Age. Am I having the best sex of my life? Age.
[I do need to acknowledge that approaching 30 really isn’t that old.]
So why do I think I can talk about ageing? Well, firstly – mainstream porn tells me that I’m approaching an entirely new category of ‘Mom’. Secondly – I promised myself a few years ago (when the wrinkles started to creep in) that I would whole-heartedly embrace ageing because it means that I’m living a wonderfully fulfilling life. My wrinkles mean that I’ve laughed a lot, I’ve cried a lot and I’ve done a few explicit things too!
Getting older is also really, really good for your sex life. Let me tell you why.
1. Body Confidence
Whoever the hell told young woman to hate their bodies… well… getting older just makes you turn around and say a big F*CK YOU to them. All those worries about turning off the lights… who cares. All those worries about your partner grabbing the ‘wrong’ parts of your body… who cares. The view from behind? Every jiggle makes it more scrumptious. That lingerie that’s been in the back of your drawer? It’s going to drop jaws when you strut into the bedroom in all your glory. Of course I still have some issues with my body but if I compare myself to ten years ago, I care a whole lot less about them. I mean… I’ve had sex in public – in front of other people actively watching me. Did I care about my belly rolls or my cellulite or my boobs flopping to the side? Hell no. I was having way too much fun to care about any of that. With every additional year, I care just a little bit less. (Disclaimer: If you’re uncomfortable with your body, that is totally valid too. This is just my personal experience).
2a. More Sexual Experience
At age 18, I’d slept with only a couple people. At age 28, well, I’ve slept with a few more (AND the most important one too). By 38, I hope to add even more to my list. By 78, I hope to have had too many notches in my belt to even wear the belt. And that’s just people! Imagine all the number of times you get to try out certain sexual acts over the years! Things I did for the first time in 2016: pegging, receiving a blow job, having sex on live cam and many more! So far in 2017, Andy tried throat-fucking me while I hung off the bed upside down and it was really quite amazing. I’d like to think that I’m becoming more adventurous as I’m getting older. I’d also like to think that I’m getting to be significantly more skilled at certain acts. I’d like to think that being able to make Andy orgasm while only using my thumb proves that I have.
2b. Less Awkward At Communicating
This is definitely a combo with gaining more sexual experience. Everything from making out to choking requires some kind of communication. Thankfully (seriously, thankfully) ageing has made me better at communicating what I enjoy, what I dislike and what I would like to explore. Of course having a long-term partner helps make communication significantly less awkward. However, having more sexual experience in general can naturally allow for you to at least know what you like and don’t like so it will hopefully be easier to talk about it.
3. Better Living Situations
Remember the days of sneaking into the basement while your parents were upstairs? I never want to live through that again. I also never again want to be able to hear my roommate masturbate in the shower. Totally awesome place to do it, I just don’t want to hear it through my bedroom walls. My own apartment? Yes please! Money for a hotel room to escape the children? Yes please! Or maybe just a babysitter for the kids while you get messy all over your own house.
I’m a fan of screaming orgasms, and sometimes I can’t control them. Being old enough to afford my preferred living situation is conducive to this particular side effect of Andy’s fingers. Also, washing our sex toys in the sink and leaving them out to air dry is such a luxury.
4. Embrace Who You Are
The older you get, the more people seem to just embrace who they are. As you get older, you’ve realized a bit more about what you love in life, what you’re passionate about, what you want to do and who you want to do it with, and are more likely to have accepted all your quirks. Try finding something that is sexier than loving yourself and embracing who you are!
As stated before, I know that 28 really isn’t that old so I would love to have all of your opinions on this topic! What do you find sexy about ageing?