Diana FoxWhen we first started buying sex toys, we had no idea what we were doing. We didn’t realize that some sex toys were toxic. We didn’t realize that there was such a thing as ‘anal safe’. We saw sex toys on sale and we bought them, regardless of toy quality, material or brand. Well, after a few of them melted together we checked online and realized that we were doing everything wrong! Part of why we started A Couple of Kinks was to help inform readers about dangerous toys, while trying to influence the industry. We’ve already managed to get a few sites to be more gender neutral, so we think we are on the right path!
The toys below have never been used. They were either bought over a year ago on sale or they were included for free with a toy order. We hope this post inspires you to do some research before your purchases. Look up materials, read reviews and read about toy safety. There are a bunch of safe toys for cheap prices, but don’t just buy a toy because it is cheap. Please learn from our mistakes!
1. Cal Exotic L’Amour Intermediate Probe
This plug was purchased without realizing how tiny the base is. Do you see that base? It is so tiny and flimsy that it risks being sucked up into your bum. Make sure that if you’re doing anal things, that the base is wide enough.
Why you shouldn’t buy cheap sex toy quality matters A Couple of Kinks Butt Plug Anal Probe Silicone
Not only that, but the inside is not made of silicone. This is not technically a problem because the silicone is thick enough that it shouldn’t tear while being used. However, most quality brands don’t have a “filler”. It is up to you whether or not you mind it, but I personally always feel a little deceived when this happens.
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2. Cal Exotics Dr. Z Orgasmic Balls
This was sent to us for free with a product order (we ordered safe toys, ironically from a now crappy company). They are supposedly made out of “TPR Silicone”, except that TPR Silicone doesn’t exist. Dangerous Lilly goes into all the details about what this material might actually be. Hint: It is not safe. It is also made out of two different materials (the purple and the white), both of which are in contact with your body.
Why you shouldn’t buy cheap sex toys quality matters A Couple of Kinks Duotone Kegel Balls
Also… can that name get any worse? The best kegel balls comes with a little guide of how to use them but obviously this one does not. If you want to learn about kegel balls and duotone systems then check out our guide.
Why you shouldn’t buy cheap sex toys quality matters A Couple of Kinks Kegel Balls
Why you shouldn’t buy cheap sex toys quality matters A Couple of Kinks
3.Pipedream Classix Prostate Stimulator
If this shape looks familiar, that is because it is. Aneros has a whole line of products that look like this. Aneros is an excellent, high quality company. Pipedream is… well… not Aneros. We can’t compare the two products, but all we can say is that the Pipedream one cost us $7 and is rock hard and not made of smooth material. Maybe the Aneros is similar in rigidity, but we can assure you that supporting Aneros will make you feel significantly better than supporting Pipedream.
Why you shouldn’t buy cheap sex toys quality matters A Couple of Kinks Anal prostate stimulator
Why you shouldn’t buy cheap sex toys quality matters A Couple of Kinks Anal prostate stimulator
It can also be noted that the kit contained lube, anal desensitizer, toy cleaner and finger condoms. This sounds like a great kit until you realize that the ingredients for the lube and desensitizer are nowhere to be found. Not on the packets and not on the box. You also shouldn’t be using desensitizer for anal play. Hmmm….
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4. Cal Exotic Amour Dual Vibro Ring
There is nothing dangerous about this particular toy. This is just a complaint about battery operated toys. When you buy cheap sex toys that come with batteries, you don’t necessarily realize how buzzy they are. Our first bullet vibe had little watch batteries in it, and we can assure you that it is buzzy. This cock ring requires three watch batteries in it, and we can only assume that they run out pretty quickly because they’ve decided to include three replacement batteries…
You can read Epiphora’s post about buzzy vs rumbly toys for more info on this topic. Most bloggers seem to prefer rumbly, but if you prefer buzzy then that is totally okay!
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5. Lovehoney Excite Orgasm Gel
We got this for free when we ordered products from Lovehoney. We’ve had a great relationship with Lovehoney and for the most part they have safe products. But then there is this… an arousal gel that contains propylene glycol. If we don’t want propylene glycol in lubricant, then we definitely do not want it in any gel that goes near a vulva. I won’t get into the science of it, but head to Dangerous Lilly’s Lube Guide and scroll to the part that says: AVOID PROPYLENE GLYCOL. Please make sure to always read the ingredients before purchasing. Come on Lovehoney, you can do better!
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6. Limpy 6 Inch Soft Packing Dildo
First of all, we aren’t exactly sure what company this is from (we’re pretty sure Fleshlight though) but we did buy it from Lovehoney’s website. We bought some RodeoH briefs and we just didn’t have the budget to buy an expensive packer, so we bought a Limpy knowing that it was a cheap packer. It is made of TPE, which is NOT made for insertion. Do not insert this toy!
Why you shouldn’t buy cheap sex toys quality matters A Couple of Kinks Packer Limpy Lovehoney Why you shouldn’t buy cheap sex toys quality matters A Couple of Kinks Packer Limpy Lovehoney
The packer is greasy. Like, really, really greasy. It destroys boxes. It destroys papers. It leaves your hands feeling greasy and really unsexy. It also doesn’t fit in a harness because the top part just flops right out. There is no base to keep it in the O-ring. It just hangs on by the balls… seriously.
Why you shouldn’t buy cheap sex toys quality matters A Couple of Kinks Packer Limpy Lovehoney
It looks realistic and the material is quite squishy and fun to play with (and really stretchy), but you have to somehow find a way to store it without ruining everything it touches. Needless to say, we had fun cutting it and throwing pieces of dick at each other.
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Our conclusion from this? Make sure to research your toys and don’t just buy cheaply made sex toys because they are on sale! Not only can you end up with dangerous materials, but you can just end up with some pretty crappy toys. If you ever need any help, don’t hesitate to send us an email!
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