This review is a bit difficult to write. On one hand, we absolutely love the concept of the Crescendo and love the company MysteryVibe that is behind it. On the other hand, a major appeal of the toy is the unlimited patterns… and patterns don’t work for either of us… especially when they are buzzy patterns.
The Crescendo is a bendable vibrator, which means that there are three ‘joints’ that are able to bend. This means that the toy itself can be used in so many different ways – both with vulvas, vaginas and penises. It can be used alone or with a partner, depending on what you enjoy.
There are 12 vibration patterns already programmed into the toy when you first take it out of the package. There are also 16 power levels for each pattern. You can increase/decrease one step at a time or there is also a function to jump to the highest and lowest settings instantly. The Crescendo will save the last pattern you were using so you can start from there the next time you use it.
The Crescendo has 6 different motors (six!!). There are 4 motors in the middle of the toy and 2 higher intensity motors at both ends of the toy.
In order to charge the Crescendo, you need to place it onto the charging dock. When placed correctly, the light will start blinking to indicate it is charging. When the charge is done (after about 1 hour), then the light will go solid. One full charge claims 2 hours of non-stop play at full intensity.
Speaking of lights – the pattern buttons and the intensity buttons have soft lights so that you can easily use them in the dark.
The outer material of the Crescendo is silicone. It is also 100% waterproof, which makes it shower-play compatible as well as really easy to clean. Make sure to use water-based lubricant (or test-patch your hybrid or silicone lube).
Bonus: There is a 12-month warranty from the date of purchase, as long as you have registered it on their website.
The App is still fairly basic at the moment, but I understand that there are future plans to make it more advanced. At the moment, we can connect the Crescendo and download new pre-determined vibration patterns. We can also change the order of the patterns, in case you like to alternative between a few of them, you can have them in the order you prefer. We can’t currently find a way to create your own patterns, but I am pretty sure that it will be available in the future. The Crescendo comes with a 4GB SD card which claims that it can provide adequate space for your creative vibe files, but it seems like loading 12 patterns at one time is the max. Although it maxes out at 12, it is pretty simple to change the 12 patterns once you first figure out how, so this shouldn’t be a limiting factor.
Insider Info: It has been confirmed that the next App update will have more non-patterned vibration settings, and a future App update will be able to customize your own patterns.
Although usually unrelated to the enjoyment of a toy, the packaging provides the first impression of a toy. A $199 USD toy should have luxurious packaging, and MysteryVibe did this well. It even comes with a unique storage pouch that makes it stand out.
MysteryVibe has truly been a mostly wonderful company to work with. We have also heard great things from other bloggers as well. Whenever there has been a concern, Mystery Vibe has taken the criticism as constructive, and has addressed the concern. I’m still a bit wary that there have been so many concerns. This includes a recent incident where they used gendered language on Instagram and then proceeded to delete my comment about it. They eventually changed their language but their first instinct was to delete what I said. Companies shouldn’t ignore anyone… but like… they know we were in the midst of writing a review about their product. We’re obviously going to bring it up.
Insider Info: We have received an apology for deleting the comments, like a real honest apology, not a non-apology that companies often send, but a true apology.
The site, the instruction manual and the packaging are all gender-neutral. The online manual we received shows a variety of positions that are possible – solo or partnered – that include both homosexual and heterosexual couples using the toy.
MysteryVibe has realized that every body is different and will require different shapes and vibrations, and they have created the most customizable sex toy on the market at the moment.
In Use (Vulva & Vagina):
This is the part that is tough to write, because on paper the Crescendo appears to be amazing. It really is an innovative product, but it just doesn’t work me me. For starters, I dislike patterns, so I really just need a strong consistent rumble. I usually neglect all the patterns on all other vibrators we have tried. Disregarding my dislike for patterns, I am really surprised that the vibrations are incredibly buzzy. They are manageable on the lower intensity settings, but they rapidly become wayyyy too buzzy and numb on higher intensity settings.
The concept of the different motors is really neat, except you need to be able to find the pattern that works with the way you are using the Crescendo. If you are hoping for G-spot stimulation, then you might not really care about most of the motors. If you are hoping for both clitoral and G-spot stimulation at once, then you might not really care about the middle motors – it depends on what you prefer. The App gives a great visualization of the patterns to help figure out what might work.
Attempting both G-spot and clitoral stimulation was not successful for me because no matter how I bent it, the motor wasn’t properly reaching my clit while also being comfortable inside of me. There was a motor too high up and a motor too far down, but nothing really fit my body perfectly.
I only inserted the smaller end (without the fins) because on our product there is some glue on the fin-end that has come off, which would be a place to harbour bacteria. Maybe using it the other way could work, but I wasn’t going to risk it.
While the buttons are easy to click, I often find myself confusing the buttons for intensity and patterns and it ends up doing something I didn’t want.
In Use (Penis):
Andy couldn’t really find a way to use this toy that he enjoyed. We curved it to imitate the PULSE or the RISE but the buzzy vibes ruined the effect. We curved it to vibrate both on his frenulum and near his perineum at the same time so he could feel all of the motors, but that didn’t really feel great for him either. We used the fins along his frenulum and shaft and still nothing. It didn’t turn him off completely like the Sqweel XT did, but we couldn’t get it to feel good for him. He thought the motors felt like cheap, buzzy motors.
Anal use: You shouldn’t use this as an anal toy because the fins bend too much to be considered a ‘flared base’ and the toy is designed to bend, so it is also designed to straighten and it just is overall a bad idea.
The Crescendo from MysteryVibe is a brilliantly innovate product, which hits the nail on the head for most of its abilities except one – the buzzy vibrations. If the vibrations were rumbly, then this would make for a really interesting toy that was able to adjust to many different bodies. Please note that while it does adjust, it is totally okay that it still doesn’t work for your body (it didn’t work for my G-spot/clit targeting). We just can’t currently recommend it if you don’t like buzzy vibes. If you like buzzy vibes, then totally go for it, but otherwise we would suggest to wait for the launch from MysteryVibe. We have a feeling it will only get better!
Insider Info: We have just been informed that there is a 2nd version with rumblier and quieter motors already in the works.
Recommended For: People who love sexy toy innovation! People who enjoy vibration patterns and who want to customize their own. People who enjoy using sex toys in different ways that can be created by the numerous bendable joints. People who can enjoy buzzy vibrations.
Not Recommended For: People who do not like buzzy vibrations. People who do not like vibration patterns.
You can purchase the Crescendo on Lovehoney Canada or Lovehoney UK.